First Capital Dis-Connect

WHAT a Namby Pamby world we live in.

Last night I boarded a First Capital Connect train to Brighton at London Bridge, which was already running 30 minutes late.

No surprise there - it would have been a shock had it been on time.

But what followed was pure farce.

The train was not moving anywhere ... and the clock was ticking. After 10 minutes, passengers started to get agitated.

When one of them asked the driver what was going on, he explained "an 18-year-old girl on board was drunk".

God forbid, a young lady in high spirits on Friday night.

In any case, they could not guarantee her safety if they decided to operate the service while she was on the train.

So station staff had contacted the police - who would need to escort her off the train before it could pull out of London Bridge.

Strangely enough, the rozzers were in no rush to get there. London, Friday night? What could be more important than a silly, little girl being drunk and making a bit of noise on the train?

There were three options available: the guard could just escort her off the train, or wait until the police finally arrive to move her ... or just operate the service and get on with it?

As 10 minutes turned into 45, it was clear that option three would have been fine.

However, they could "not guarantee her safety" ... so option one perhaps? No, because if a guard, or station security staff, dare lay a single finger on the girl to remove her from the train, the drunken teenager could sue them for "common assault".

No, option two it must be - so about 300 people must sit there to wait for the police!

For crying out aloud, what is the world coming to?

Safety issues? As far as I could see, there would be no chance of the young impressionable girl jumping off the train as the doors are automatically locked!

Common assault? Oh, please!

But, having seen the girl myself, she was very boring. What was coming out of her mouth was barely audible. She was no threat to anyone - apart from perhaps being slightly annoying.

We were finally informed by the driver that the safety risk had been assessed by a team of specially-trained staff - and they had established she was drunk and we would be better off travelling on another train!

In the end, the police never showed but we boarded another train, which they routed to Brighton 90 minutes behind schedule.

Madness!